Blog

In the third of this 7-part series we talk with Lisa Dinhofer, M.A., CT., expert on grief, loss and trauma about the topic of loss and the cultural expectations that parents with children on the autism spectrum experience, and why they feel guilty about this pain....

In the second of this 7-part series, we discuss the on-going grief that parents with children on the autism spectrum experience with Lisa Dinhofer, M.A., CT., expert on grief, loss and trauma. https://player.vimeo.com/video/262902036 As parents of children on the...

In the first of this 7-part series, we discuss the difference between compassion fatigue and burnout (which very often co-express) and what to do about it, with grief and loss and trauma expert Lisa Dinhofer, M.A., CT. https://player.vimeo.com/video/262122988 The...

Learning to be flexible is essential in creating a successful life with someone on the autism spectrum. If we are too rigid, demanding and insistent on having things a certain way, it will really complicate our life and create stress for everyone. It is very likely...

Much of the social conformity that comes naturally to the rest of us originates from innately knowing and following the social rules without thought. We act, think and do things the way we do because that is just how they are done in our world, no questions asked. We...

While being a "rule-follower" is often part of the personality and character make up of an individual on the spectrum, sometimes to the extreme that we might feel like they are policing a situation, that doesn't necessarily correlate to always telling the truth. I...

Trying to force someone with autism to do it “right,” or like the rest of us, is like trying to force a left-handed person to function in a right-handed way. It can be done, and some people with autism can learn to look very “right handed,” very socially acceptable,...

People with a social disability deserve a deep respect and compassion because living in their world requires a great deal of effort—constant and concerted effort. On a regular basis, they must force themselves to participate in painful social contact to survive in our...

One of the best pieces of advice I ever got, was “Suit up and show up.” Woody Allen once said “80 percent of success is showing up.” And so it is... Certainly, if you don’t show up, your likelihood of success in any endeavor is hugely diminished. You can’t win a game...

I remember years ago, in the final week of school before Christmas, when my son with ASD was failing several classes in middle school, I couldn’t get him interested in anything but video games, and his favorite pastime was kicking his brother down the stairs, I hit...

I don’t have a university issued PhD, although I often wish I did; sometimes I even beat myself up for not knowing more. Yet in many ways, I know so much more than those educated PhD’s, who have no idea (ok maybe they have theoretical knowledge, but no personally...

As our understanding of autism grows, we adapt our methods of relating and communicating to better suit our autistic loved one’s understanding of the world. Because those individuals with autism are not receiving and integrating social information like the rest of us,...

Autism takes many forms, and is very misunderstood in the general population. The old stereotype of a child, rocking in a corner, unable to speak or function still comes to mind for many. I see this in the faces of people when I tell them that my son is autistic....

One of the biggest mistakes we make as parents of children on the autism spectrum is to cling to unrealistic beliefs about our child’s future. It is such a tightrope walk! On the one hand, lowering our expectations (along with revising our hopes and dreams for our...

As a parent, finding our way to acceptance of this invader in our life, autism, is a tricky path to walk. We tend to hold out hope that things will be better once… (fill in the blank with “…he gets through special kindergarten and can go to regular first grade…” or...

Being a parent of a child on the spectrum is a very emotional experience for most of us. Before the autism is diagnosed, we frantically try to make life work, and often find that we aggravated the pain and frustration more than calm it. None of us wants to push our...

Like most of you who have had a child diagnosed with ASD, our journey was a struggle. Before the diagnosis, I felt desperate and confused. One minute my son seemed so “normal” and the next minute he was melting down because he could not tie his shoes! I distinctly...

On the one hand, there is nothing more compassionate we can do than to understand our loved ones with autism and be compassionate about their struggles. If you are a parent and trying to “therapize” a child into being non-autistic, or into acting like someone who is...